"When [the parents] give a child away, there are no consequences."

How do you argue this point when the opposing people think that single mother/fatherhood is the only way to teach the parent(s) a lesson on mistake pregnancies?

As an adoptee, I find that sentiment very skewed.  I find that not only are there consequences for the birth parents, there are consequences that run far deeper than telling a woman the only way to learn responsible parenting is to keep an unplanned child.  I believe with all my being that my mother felt a loss greater that most women will ever know when she placed me in the care of my parents.  I believe that part of her never really got passed the struggle of knowing if her decision was the right one.  And, I also believe it made her a stronger woman and a better person for having gone through one of the hardest choices someone ever makes.  There were emotional consequences that my "debater" cannot even begin to fathom.

I do not in any way believe that keeping a child as "punishment" is in the best interest of the child or the parent.  How many children end up in foster care because of this exact through pattern?  Why, in this day and age, is adoption the decision of last resort?  I am not saying that adoption is the only answer; I am saying that is needs to be a viable option to unplanned and undesired pregnancies.  Why do we feel that a grandparent raising a child while the child gets to "keep their childhood" is better than letting someone(s) give the child a fresh start?

"People adopt for the prestige and abuse the kids.  It is a status thing."  That was the answer given.  WOW!  That is my only response.  Where on earth was that sentiment or information gleaned?  Hollywood?  Where it is the "in" thing to adopt and have biological children?  Please.  I hope this is not the only reason people think adoption is done.  Seriously? $20-60K for status?  Should I be so blessed?

I bring this around to the story of Moses.  He was adopted and loved by both his mothers.  They both had the best interest of the child at heart.  And Hannah?  She gave her child back to God as promised.  Joseph raised Jesus as his own.

Adoption is not just for the orphans but for the child that is loved so much that a decision is made not with a flippant attitude ("If I give it to someone else, my life doesn't change and I learn nothing from my actions) but with anguish and discernment.

I know there is a growth lesson out of this experience today, I just need to find it.