As the deer thirst for the water, Lord
So my soul longs after you
My soul thirst for the living God
Oh, my soul, longs after You
And I pour out my soul deep within me
Deep within me I pour out my soul
Draw me deeper, Lord
Deeper, Lord, in you
I learned this morning that the proverbial rug may has (more than likely) been pulled out from under us. Then, I get to church only to have the songs and sermon follow the path we have before us. I am not sure where we go from here. All I know is that my faith is no longer enough to sustain our household. I need more in my storehouse. I have depleted all I have and I am not sure where we go from here. Normally, I would just say, "God will provide." Well, I can no longer just say it. If I don't believe it too, we will lose everything. Literally. The house, the vehicle, the "family" (dogs and cats).
Is this the point where I throw myself prostrate before the Lord and say, "Enough. You win. I am broken, bruised, bloodied and tired. Take everything and see that your will be done"? What if I am the only one? Does he work the same if only one person is at that point? Does my faith and broken-ness cover the whole household, or do I have to hold on and finish the rest of the ride for the entire household? Am I being run over and crushed over and over until everyone is lock-step? Are there any right answers to any of these questions?
When I think I'm going under part the waters, Lord
When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea
When I cry for help, oh, hear me, Lord and hold out your hand
Touch my life still the raging storm in me
Can I really sing these lyrics and mean them in the depths of my despair? I am not so sure any more.
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