Not By Might, Not By Power, But By My Spirit....

Part One:

I have control issues.  I want to have life in a box that is predictable with clear instructions.  I want to see how it turns out and see how I will be a stronger person for growing out of adversity.  I want to pray and know the answer.  I want a lot.

What does God want?

My devotion to Him while trusting he will get us through DH's job loss, mortgage modifications, job changes for me and being foster parents.  He wants me to let go of the reins and just trust in him.  He wants total faith.

I am trying and failing everyday but each day I feel am failing a little less (no matter how minute).  I realized when He allowed me to have a peaceful family reunion that my spoken worries are being heard.  My unspoken worries must reach God but the answers are not as simple or clear.  I need to refocus.

Why is this so hard to put into practice?

Part Two:

Why am I letting others affect my walk/moods?  Why do the actions of those people cause me to want to act as the pharisees?  I am not better than them; yet, I long to lash out and point out the flaws.  I struggling with correction with God's love and condemnation with spite.  I need to quit letting their behaviors control how I respond. 

But how do I stop it from affecting my worship every week?  And is confrontation in love still condemnation? Hmmm...